3 Tips For Dealing With A Child Who Says They Hate You

Being the parent of a young teenager going through puberty is a difficult task, and this task can be made even more difficult if your child starts to rebel against you. Many young teenagers go through a phase where they lash out at their parents, telling them they hate them or that they wish they had another family. This can be difficult to handle, so to help you with this, consider the three tips outlined below:

Don't Take It Too Personal

As a parent who has raised your child for more than a decade, it's understandable that you will feel hurt if your child says that they hate you. You have strived to give your child the best start in life and ensure that their every need is met. When your child seems to go against you, you may feel a deep sense of disappointment or that you have somehow failed as a parent.

However, you need to understand that this backlash is perfectly natural and is merely a consequent of your son or daughter growing older. In most cases, this rebellion is a phase that your child is going through, which will subside once they start to mature into their late teens and early adult years.

Therefore, try not to take your child's rebellion too personally. If you do, it could lead to further arguments and more stress for you to deal with. Rather, notice that this a perfectly natural time in your child's life and try to give them the space they need to come to terms with the changes that are happening in their life.

Be Empathetic

When your child starts to rebel against you and your partner, you may immediately jump into an authoritative role and try to stop their behaviour by punishing them. Many parents believe this is the best way to deal with their child, as surely they must be punished for their bad behaviour?

But whilst confiscating their smartphone or keeping them in the house may feel like retribution, it is a tactic that will only cause more trouble down the line. Rather than responding to your child's rebellion with force, try to practice empathy when it comes to handling your child's behavior. It is extremely difficult being the parent of a young teenager, but it's equally difficult being a young teenager going through some dramatic changes in their life.

Therefore, rather than escalating the situation into unnecessary arguments, try to be reasonable with your child and see things from their perspective. You were a teenager once yourself and likely went through the exact same changes your child is currently going through. Lending your son or daughter a sympathetic ear and letting them know that you also went through this stage will help them to trust you and will reduce their behavioral issues over time.

Make Time for Family

As a busy parent trying to juggle work and family, it can be difficult to dedicate time to spend with your children. You may justify this by saying that children in their early teens would rather spend time with their friends or online than with their family. However, whilst your son or daughter may indeed give off this impression, this usually isn't the case.

Your teenage child definitely needs their alone time when they are maturing in life; however, they also need a strong support network and a feeling of balance within their family. Try and get into a routine of spending one-on-one time with your teenager every other day to let them know that you are there for them. Whether it's doing the chores together, watching a sports game, or sitting down around the dinner table, having this continuous interaction will stop your child from feeling isolated during what can be a very lonely time in their life.

Whilst the above tips will help in the majority of cases, sometimes it's best to get your child professional help. If their misbehavior continues to spiral, consider contacting an adolescent psychiatry professional who will be able to get to the bottom of their behavioral issues and get them through this difficult phase in their life.  


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