When you were newlyweds you probably thought that the most serious problem you would ever have would be fighting over who was going to do the dishes. Reality might have set in when you realized that marriage was a bit like a roller coaster ride, with highs and lows along the way. If you are experiencing more low spots than the exhilarating high spots, from making more time for each other to seeking marriage counseling, here are some ideas that might help you and your spouse.

Ask Some Tough Questions - It might be good to start with a personal assessment and follow that with an assessment that involves your spouse. At first, ask yourself questions like, Am I really giving my sweetheart the time he or she deserves? Am I devoting more time to things like work, charity committees, or even time with our children? As you look inward, you might find that you are a great part of the problem. The good thing is that you can remedy that by making your spouse realize that he or she is the most important part of your life.

If your spouse will work with you, it might be helpful for you to analyze your difficult times together. Ask each other questions like, Is there something for which I need to apologize?  What can I do personally to make you realize how much you mean to me? Consider keeping a couple's journal where you write each other things like love notes and other notes that convey your feelings. 

Seek Marriage Counseling - If you have done a frank personal assessment and if you have already sat down together many times, but you are still struggling in your marriage, it might be time to seek help from a professional counselor or company like Can't We Just Get Along Counselling Inc. If you don't have the name of a counselor, your family doctor will be happy to refer you to one. Your ecclesiastic leader might be trained to do counseling, too. If not, then he or she will also be able to direct you to somebody who is trained to help you. 

When you go to marriage counseling together, be ready to answer questions readily and honestly. This is a good time for you to express things privately and then with your spouse. The marriage counselor might even give you homework. For example, the marriage counselor might ask you to take time away from your children and even from other couples. Be ready to follow your counselor's suggestions, as he or she probably has the experience to know what your marriage needs to make things better than ever.