If you find yourself getting in frequent arguments — perhaps with your spouse, your children, your colleagues, and even strangers — it's worthwhile to ask yourself if you enjoy these conflicts. There are undoubtedly some people who enjoy arguing, but many others do not. If arguing has become a habit for you, you might need professional help to curb this behavior. Think about booking a few sessions with a local counselor to discuss your habit of arguing. You'll get to explore it from several angles, and the end result will be fewer arguments going forward. Here are some skills that these sessions can help to build.

Improving Your Listening

One thing that people who argue a lot frequently have in common is poor listening skills. Instead of listening to what someone with a contrasting opinion is trying to say, you might be thinking about what you're going to say next — and perhaps even looking for a way to interject before the person has finished speaking. Your therapy sessions can help you to become a better listener through a variety of role-playing exercises. You might find that it's difficult to truly listen at first, but practice will help you to make improvements.

Attempting To Understand

You'll argue less frequently if you make a genuine effort to understand what the person is trying to say. You don't necessarily need to agree with the person, but you should be able to understand his or her point of view. Those who argue frequently sometimes have room to improve in this area. For example, you might not feel as though you can leave a conversation behind until you can convince the other person to see something your way — rather than you feeling as though you can see the topic his or her way.

Respecting The Person

Respect goes a long way toward reducing the amount of arguing in your life. Through counseling, you'll learn to respect that people have different opinions than you and that this is OK. You'll also learn how to show that you respect the person and his or her opinions, which can be a nice contrast to your past habit of arguing. For example, you'll learn the value of statements such as, "I appreciate that you have that mindset and are proud of it." It may take a few appointments with your therapist to put your habit of arguing behind you, but you'll almost certainly notice improvements in your relationships once you're able to do so.

Contact a counselor, like Barbara Saban, LCSW, for more help.